don't contradict me in public please
by happyasasquirrel
Summary: Drabble/oneshot series. "Hobos like beef jerky!"/ "You bit Tori!" "No chiz." "You bit Tori!" "Yeah, so what?" "You bit Tori!"/ third chapter: tori&andre and singing.
1. Of hobos and scissors

**_So, welcome to my series. The first drabble features Beck and Jade. Although it's very short, the next will be longer. Enjoy!_**

"Whatcha doin'?"

"I'm eating an elephant. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like your making a mess."

"It's called spring cleaning."

"My RV doesn't look any tidier."

"I never said I was cleaning your RV. I'm sorting out all my old clothes that I keep here and replacing them with new ones."

"Why are there scissors in your underwear drawer?"

"They're there for safe keeping. You know, in case anyone tries to steal them."

"Who would steal scissors?"

"... Some hobo who can't open his beef jerky."

"..."

"Hobo's like beef jerky!"

"How would you know?"

"It's a common fact."

"Right..."

"You are so rude."

"I just don't feel that you need to leave scissors in your underwear drawer!"

"I already told you, hobos might steal them if I don't."

"Oh yeah, hobos magically appear."

"They might break in."

"I have bulletproof windows."

"I can open your door with my foot."

"Only when I'm here and have it unlocked. I lock it when I go out."

"And that makes it safer?"

"Yeah!"

"... Whatever."

"Don't you whatever me, you thought of the hobos!"

"Fine. I won't put my scissors in my underwear drawer."

"Thank you."

"I'll leave them in my pajama drawer."

"Jaaaaaadddee."

**_I think it's fairly obvious who spoke when, but if it wasn't review and tell me. And if it was obvious, review anyway, please. Also, if you want, you can give me a prompt or/and a pairing and I'll create a oneshot. You know you want to. _**


	2. Of biting and timing

**_A/N: So, this is chapter two. I know it has only one review, but I'm hoping that's due to my lame-ass summary (which i have now changed) not my writing. And hey, two story alerts aren't bad! Again, this one is just Beck&Jade, but if you review *hinthint* with another pairing, i will write it. _**

**_This Chapter is dedicated to Ella Lea, for being my only reviewer. And btw, Ella Lea, what were you going to write? I'm very curious if you have any suggestions._**

**_And on with the story._**

"Jade, was that neccasary?"  
>"Was what necassary?<br>"You bit Tori!"  
>"So..."<br>"You bit Tori!"  
>"No chiz."<br>"You bit Tori!"  
>"Yeah, so what?"<br>"You bit Tori!"  
>"Owwwww"<br>"Wimp"  
>"You bit me!"<br>"You wouldn't shut up"

;;

"..."  
>"Oh, the silent treatment... Mature"<br>"Lalalala I bit Tori lalalala"  
>"Why did you bite her?"<br>"Haha! Take that bitch!"  
>"Okay, one, I am a man, so stop referring to me as a female. And two, why am I a bitch?"<br>"Because you are. Don't argue."  
>"What?"<br>"Oh, grow a pair!"  
>"Thankfully, we are not near stairs, otherwise I would give you a time out."<br>"Which reminds me, what the hell were you thinking when you did that? Were you trying to be funny?"  
>"No, I just thought you were pushing it a bit."<br>"Oh, well thanks, _dad._ Next time, make sure you punish Tori too. Because otherwise, it looks like favouritism. And I'm pretty sure that people wouldn't bat an eyelid- You've kissed her before."  
>"I'm not even going to comment on the latter, and OK, I realise that the time out may have been a bad idea."<br>"A bad idea? Try an awful idea."  
>"Way to build up my self confidence, babe."<br>"You're welcome."

;;

"... Anyway, why did you bite Tori?"  
>"She was annoying me, all 'Hey Jade I know I got the part in drama so<br>I got you a coffee'. And I really wanted that part!"  
>"Oh."<br>"And to top it off, it was the wrong coffee!"  
>"So you bit her?"<br>"Yep."  
>"Oh, don't worry. I didn't draw blood if that's what you're thinking."<br>"That makes me feel so much better"  
>"And here comes the sarcasm...babe, you know that only I am allowed to use sarcasm."<br>"But why?"  
>"Because I am the best, and what I say goes."<p>

"You should know that already."  
>"Stop trying to change the subject."<br>"Damn. I forget you knew me too well."  
>"... The whole chiz about the coffee isn't real, is it?"<br>"No."  
>"Why really did you bite her?"<br>"It's just, she gets everything. And it really hurts when she gets the  
>part and is perfect, but I never get the chance to shine anymore. And<br>I guess, this morning, when she was rambling on... I just felt so  
>annoyed that I just, I, bit her!"<br>"Wow."  
>"Wow what?"<br>"That was almost philosophical. And deep... Who are you and what have  
>you done with Jade?"<p>

"Owww! I've already told you, biting is not nice!"  
>"Shut up. Or you'll get the imprint of my teeth all over your arm."<br>"Love you too."

**_A/N: Please please please review if you have read. Anons are welcomed! To reiterate, if you have any ideas or plots or pairings, don't hesitate to tell me. _**


	3. Of sunshine and singing

**an; **_okay, so i had a lot of requests for a tandre oneshot, and i did one. i must admit, i think its bad. but i am clearly biased. the people who requested tandre, could you please give me any improvement on writing tandre, as i had no experience and found getting into character hard. still, please read, and don't forget to review with suggestions!_

"Oh, hi."  
>"Hello!"<br>"Do you need something or..."  
>"Nope. Whatcha doin?"<br>"I'm trying to write another song. I'm finding it rather difficult  
>though, as I don't know who'd be singing it."<br>"Andrè, you know that I'd volunteer if I could, but Jason already  
>asked me."<br>"I know. I think I may ask Cat or Jade. Excuse me."  
>Andrè stood up and silently walked out of the room. He shot a smile back at Tori, who was pressing notes on the piano. She could feel it in the middle of her chest, building up. What was it? She couldn't be jealous, she was the one that turned him down as she was busy. But she really didn't want Andrè singing with another girl. While she was contemplating this, her fingers brushed over a piece of paper. She picked it up, a sheet of scrawled lyrics clearly written by Andrè. As she was reading it, Tori didn't notice Andrè slipping back in. "Uh, that's about my grandma..." Andrè noticed that Tori had the lyrics and was desparetely trying to cover it up.<br>"You want to kiss your grandma?"  
>"Well, uh, no but..."<br>"Is it about me?"  
>"Well, no, but, sorta, kinda... Yeah."<br>"I didn't know you liked me."  
>"Well, suprise..."<br>"You know..."  
>"What?"<br>"Oh nothing."  
>Tori made sure she was fully out the door before banging her head against the wall. She couldn't she couldn't bring herself to tell him. But she did have an idea.<p>

* * *

><p>Tori sighed. She never knew that asking Jade for help would be so complicated, and so costly. For her to sing with Jason, and not Andrè, Tori had ended up giving her twenty bucks and a new pair of combat boots. It was worth it though, she thought, to be able to perform with Andrè. She hadn't told Andrè she would be the one singing with him, and it was worth it to see the look on his face when she joined him on stage instead of Jade. It was a mixture between shock and joy. And at the end, after roaring applause, she leans over and kisses him.<p> 


End file.
